


Depression Monster

by Bookworm1121



Series: The Magicians Fanfics [7]
Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: 3x06, Angst, Depression, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Missing Scene, Rejection, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 15:12:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17880128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookworm1121/pseuds/Bookworm1121
Summary: A missing scene from episode 3x06. Based off information from 4x05.





	Depression Monster

**Author's Note:**

> This contains major depressive themes and actions. If you or a loved one ever has experienced any types of mental illness, please try and reach out for help. You are not alone, and you have my support if you ever need it.

Quentin pressed his pillow against his face. He needed to block the sound of his double degrading him. His lip trembled as he pushed away the tears threatening to fall.

“It’s your fault Julia was sexually assaulted.”

“You killed Alice. Now she’s fucked up and it’s your fault.”

“You should have been able to save Arielle. Was it really that hard to go find some medicine?”

“You are so pathetic.”

Quentin covered his ears, squeezing his eyes shut, “Shut up! Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!”

“I’m not going away, Quentin. I’m staying here with you. Better get used to it.”

Quentin rocked, slowly, trying to focus on his breathes. He went through this before, he can block out the hateful voice. Quentin wiped his eyes, biting his lip harshly, “C’mon Quentin, don’t listen to it. Don’t listen to it.”

“Talking to yourself? Huh, never thought you’d sink this low. It’s no wonder why Eliot rejected you.”

Quentin’s blood ran cold at the mention of Eliot, “Don’t say his name.”

“Pinch a nerve? Why? Do you realize how little he actually cares about you? That he doesn’t actually love you. That you are the last person he would want to spend a life with? He doesn’t want you.”

“No, we lived a life together. We told each other we loved each other. We loved each other.”

“Yeah, after he was stuck with you. Do you really think he would pick you if he was given a chance? He probably wants that fiancé of his.”

“Stop it!” Quentin said, standing up, “Shut up! Shut the fuck up.”

Quentin’s hands shook as he stared at his double. It smirked at him, it found Quentin’s current weak spot. 

“You will never be his first choice. He probably wouldn’t care if you died. Face it, he’d be better without you.”

“No, you’re lying. He does care! They all care.”

“He probably was so thankful when he died. He was finally free from you. You said you wanted to go first, right? Go on, get on with it and go first.”

Quentin paced back and forth, ignoring the figure in front of him. Sadness consumed his entire body. His heart ached, the sensation going to his toes. Everything hurt, and he tried fighting the feeling. He ran a hand through his hair as he eyes filled with tears.

“Face it, Eliot didn’t care. He didn’t want you. He was stuck with you. You mean nothing to him. He didn’t want to go on this quest with you. He didn’t want to be in a relationship with you. He doesn’t want you. He never has and he never will.”

Quentin’s body trembled, listening to the words. A lump stayed in his throat as he stared at a spot on the wall. He felt the burn on his wrists, craving to be carved. Quentin fisted his hands against his palms, trying to distract himself from the crave.

“Eliot turned you down twice. Not once. Twice. Admit it, he hates you.”

“Shut up!” Quentin choked out, covering his mouth with his fist, “Stop talking.”

The figure smirked, “Eliot doesn’t want you. You caused Julia to get sexually assaulted. You killed Alice. You ruined Alice’s life. You are pathetic. You break everything you touch. Just kill yourself. Magic won’t save you, nothing will. Because you aren’t worth it.”

“I need air,” Quentin said, walking out of the room and onto the main deck. Quentin ran his hands through his hair, squeezing his eyes shut. He paced, swallowing the lumps forming in his front. He needed to stop the pain; everything felt overwhelming and heavy. Quentin walked towards the ledge of the boat, looking out on the water.

In the corner of his eye, he saw the figure placing a hand on his shoulder. Quentin squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push away the feeling of giving up.


End file.
